Aine has been a bit narky lately. We are on chicken pox watch after the littlest bought it into our home a few weeks back after an outbreak at nursery.
Now ordinarily chicken pox isn’t considered a big deal. The littlest had about 20 spots all in all and was worse before they appeared. To be honest, he was fine. You wouldn’t have known, except from his constant checking of spots, with magnification. Love him I do! Of course, all children are different. Aine has dodged it up until now. At almost 9, despite attending nursery and school she has missed it.
She clearly isn’t well. She had a big tonic clonic seizure on Thursday. She had a little dose of diazepam to stop it and slept like a log for a few hours. She hasn’t really returned to herself, lots of seizure activity, low tolerance, poor appetite and poor sleep pattern. Let’s face it, she’s harbouring that pox!!!
This morning, getting ready for school was hard. We have this little dalliance every school day. She says ‘am I going to school today?’ I say ‘yes’. She says ‘no, I don’t want to, I want to stay here’. I ignore this, she stops protesting and asks ‘am I going in the car or on the bus?’ I say ‘bus’ and she says ‘no, I want to go in the car’. I say nothing and she accepts that she’s going to school on this bus. Every morning. I expect it now and I’ve learnt that it’s kind of like a ritual.
Only this morning she was a bit more adamant that she wasn’t going to get ready. I dodged a few slaps, took a few scratches and a kick to the chest. She did finally accept what was happening. This too is pretty normal. Just a bit more of a sustained attack today. I usually go through the day, pick something fun she will do, tell her she can have her favourite activity. This morning I started to sing. We Are Young. It’s one of Aine’s personal favourites. She has a few. I confess to not being aware of many current artists. I have an eclectic music taste and as such, as they are mainly with me, so do the children. This song I adore. The tempo, the singers distinctive voice, how it lifts my spirits. She joined in. My eyes welled up. She sang that song so beautifully. Totally tuneless, all the wrong words, but with such conviction, such gusto and so much enjoyment, tears flowed down my cheeks. Tears of utter joy at my darling girl. It’ll go down as one of ‘those’ moments. Those that take your breath, make you cry, make you want to hug someone so hard and for the hug to never end. If I could have captured it in a bottle it would be priceless. Pure joy.
Having Aine challenges me. It tests and exhausts me. But that moment refuelled me.
Aine May, if you feel like falling down, I’ll carry you home. Forever.